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these in an election season that you would think would be crushing obama's reelection chances. and yet they are not. why, you ask? (laughter) it's the subject of tonight's news segment "barack obama's the luckiest dude on the planet." (laughter) in an ordinary election involving a stagnant economy, global unrest, and the typical incumbent president would be at an enormous disadvantage. unless-- >> does the government have a responsibility to provide health care to the 50 million americans who don't have it today? >> well, we do provide care for people who don't have insurance. we pick them up in an ambulance and take them to the hospital and give them care and different states have different ways of providing for that care. (laughter) >> jon: unless-- normally he would be in trouble unless that incumbent president is running against the guy who just appeared to suggest that we don't need to do a health care plan for uninsured americans because we have emergency rooms! (laughter) and, like, they're open all night. (laughter) they're, like, 7-elevens but-- (cheers and applause) now that-- what he jus
take this election seriously. they know they have to make choices that will affect their lives. >> jon: uh-huh. >> and it's not very helpful if you take up their time and you don't explain what those choices are, at least from your point of view. so that's what i tried to do. >> jon: are you surprised, it has struck me that the romney campaign has been very year that they don't want to give the specifics of that choice. they have been given a chance time and time again. well, what loopholes would you close, well, you know, i will work that out after i'm elected. see me about that after the election. surprising with a guy of that kind of business experience that you are dealing in numbers and you would think specifics. >> well, part of the problem that he has is that... . >> jon: part of. >> yeah, he made all these commitments in the primary campaign. and you remember, and they just kept pushing everybody to the right. and so seemed like every week there was a new challenger coming up and he was playing whack-a-mole, he had to knock them down. >> jon: very kind of you, even mole i think
-back >> egyptians elected a muslim brotheredhood member to head their country. let's not forget. this is very first place in the middle east that president obama promised to bring, quote democracy too >> jon: you believe through the prism of history people will look back at obama and this shift of freedom, efforty and democracy in the middle east and he'll be viewed as myopic >> through the prism of history we'll look back at george w. bush and see this shift toward freedom, liberty and democracy in the middle east and elsewhere in the world and he will be viewed as a great visionary >> jon: full throated defense of the value of democracy >> the meade cora and our government, democracy. this is a good thing. and i'm sitting here saying, all right. what is going to take over? it was obviously the muslim brotherhood was the only group that had any political clout. >> jon: young not as fat you. all right. i guess you can't just let people depots their own dictators in the name of democracy. >> we have at least some hope for peace in the middle east and democracy. certainly better than what they have.
version of bed head. >> this is really a discussion about the political process of winning the election and, of course, i want to help all americans, all americans, have a bright and prosperous future. >> jon: sure, yeah, no, wow. his words say "no big deal, i want to help all americans." but his eyes and body language say "holy (bleep), we're all gonna die!" (laughter) let me give you a better example to illustrate the dichotomy between the message mitt romney is sending verbally and the message he's sending visually. ladies and gentlemen, i take you to a cruise ship somewhere in the north atlantic. (laughter) hey, ladies and gentlemen, it's me, your captain. i understand there's been some talk of ice on the star board side of the ship. (laughter) that's attracted some attention. (laughter) (cheers and applause) anyway, i-- i just want to take a moment to reassure everybody we have it under control. obviously we all look forward to reaching the other side of the ocean with everybody not in a watery grave. (laughter) this would be so much easier if i was latino. (laughter and applause)
-- hundreds of millions of colors on election campaigns have the interests of the people of the world at their heart? >> jon: really, you are going to go after us with campaign-finance reform? i say to you, the world body, if mccain-feingold was not so toothless, the prevalence of super pacs-- isn't anybody going to give us the red meat rhetoric and innovative prop comedy we have come to expect from the united nations? >> this is a bomb-- (laughter) >> jon: that's what i'm talking about. >> this is a fuse. in the case of iran's nuclear plans to build a bomb, a red line should be drawn right here. (laughter) >> jon: okay, first of all, i just got to say, bebe, bubbi, what's with the wiley coyote nuclear bomb? are you really going to pretend, are you going to pretend that you don't know what a nuclear bomb looks like? you're israel. run downstairs and look in the batesment. although if that is the sort of bomb we're dealing with i think i've got a pretty easy solution to this entire iran problem. we'll be right back. 4h$h >> jon: welcome back, my guest tonight plays basketball with the
expectations he will lose the general election creating chaos in the republican party and leave out 2016 -- oh! >> the jersey is strong in this one. >> so all these guys to have a mild familiarity with the english language and it is considered a win. can we hear from someone not affiliated with the campaigns, what their expectation might be? >> both men have a monumental undertaking for the first debate, one of them has to come off as nicer and less air began than he really is and the other has to be zero more normal and lestrange than he really is. >> jon: then how did we end up with these two idiots? look, we are not looking for coherent ideology, americans are just looking for assurance the next president isn't going to be a weirdo. who thinks she better than us. how exactly will romney counter the idea that he is awkward and not normal? >> mr. romney's team concluded the debates are about creating moments, the quick series of zingers he has memorized and has been practicing on aides since august. >> jon: they equipped him with zingers. >> and you know what? the best zingers are two ones
prayer change this election? well, picking paul ryan was certainly a hail mary. (laughter) then, obama's making us less safe. that terrorist from "homeland" won an emmy! (laughter) and my guest, author jim holt, has written a book on why the world exists. well, when two planets love each other very much they share a special hug. (laughter) the university of tennessee frat members were caught butt-chugging wine. (laughter) that sounds like some drunk ass (bleep). (laughter) this is "the colbert report." (cheers and applause) captioning sponsored by comedy central ( theme song playing ) ( cheers and applause )
Search Results 0 to 16 of about 17 (some duplicates have been removed)